I WILL WRITE SHIT FOR YOU

I am trying to warm up my writing muscles--I'm still working on Project F(uck This Is Hard) and other stuff but they're so huge, I keep losing perspective, and my slow progress is demoralising.

So, if you like, give me a prompt and I'll write you a short bit of something. Original prompts and fanfic requests are both okay. You know what I like!

_{Please don't reply to this with 'Duke Nukem' or 'fetuses' or the ilk, just for a change. You know I hate fun.}