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Ugh.
I was thinking of the Three Weeks of Dreamwidth thing again and wondering if I could go through the project, but then found the non-fandom friending meme and I've been hit with this overwhelming wave of 'what the hell am I doing here'. I just read all those entries and I feel so damn shallow. No, not because I'm a straight white cisgendered female with no serious health issues, that would be... silly; but everyone there wants to communicate and all I want to do is stay by myself because I can't relate to them on a personal or hobby-related level. My life is so fracking dull and my interests are so shallow by comparison.
Soooo... I wanted to do a Three Weeks of Dreamwidth project that involves a hobby I don't think anyone else is interested in, in the same way I am? (The only non-Facebook games I've seen mentioned around here are MMOs and the Lego games and the only indie game was The Path!) Just... WHY should I do this?
I know this is a bit of a cockheaded thing to say, I mean I'm not one of THOSE hardcore gamers, if I made this hypothetical 'finish all your games' community and everyone joined to beat Lego Batman I wouldn't get pissy, but everywhere, everywhere I go on the internet (anywhere really but let's not go into detail), I feel completely out of place, and I don't feel like actually exerting energy and time into putting myself into that situation again!
But at the same time I recognise that I want to meet and talk to more people. Bzwuh???
I might stop using this journal entirely and take this project to that blog I should be using. I dunno, I feel stupid for staying here when all I do is stare into the corner talking to myself. Sorry for the sudden emo. I'm, uh, going to go offline, to feel silly for a while....
I was thinking of the Three Weeks of Dreamwidth thing again and wondering if I could go through the project, but then found the non-fandom friending meme and I've been hit with this overwhelming wave of 'what the hell am I doing here'. I just read all those entries and I feel so damn shallow. No, not because I'm a straight white cisgendered female with no serious health issues, that would be... silly; but everyone there wants to communicate and all I want to do is stay by myself because I can't relate to them on a personal or hobby-related level. My life is so fracking dull and my interests are so shallow by comparison.
Soooo... I wanted to do a Three Weeks of Dreamwidth project that involves a hobby I don't think anyone else is interested in, in the same way I am? (The only non-Facebook games I've seen mentioned around here are MMOs and the Lego games and the only indie game was The Path!) Just... WHY should I do this?
I know this is a bit of a cockheaded thing to say, I mean I'm not one of THOSE hardcore gamers, if I made this hypothetical 'finish all your games' community and everyone joined to beat Lego Batman I wouldn't get pissy, but everywhere, everywhere I go on the internet (anywhere really but let's not go into detail), I feel completely out of place, and I don't feel like actually exerting energy and time into putting myself into that situation again!
But at the same time I recognise that I want to meet and talk to more people. Bzwuh???
I might stop using this journal entirely and take this project to that blog I should be using. I dunno, I feel stupid for staying here when all I do is stare into the corner talking to myself. Sorry for the sudden emo. I'm, uh, going to go offline, to feel silly for a while....
