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Aug. 25th, 2017
I have never felt so acutely that my brain is damaged/flawed in my entire life as strongly as I have this week.
Not sad, mind you, there's a distinct difference. If I were still sad, at least that would explain why I had one very clearly defined and achievable goal with a tangible deadline yesterday and then did sweet diddle fuck all for eight hours.
Something is going on. What is going on?
Thing 1) This goes beyond executive function issues, it's more like executive, parliament and judicial dysfunction.
Thing 2) I am radiating some kind of 'hi I'm a complete asshole!!!' field and the fact I am surrounded by people literally half my age is exacerbating it. The social awkwardness isn't as bad as it could be (a handful of people have actually talked to me which is already better than every other uni experience in my damned life) but the times it has gone wrong, it has gone SPECTACULARLY wrong. I have my first group assignment and one member dislikes me to the point of quiet-borderline-threat accusing me of stealing their stuff which is a pretty super start.
These things are a combo for disaster. That isn't even going into the things going on that aren't suited for public posting.
What the hell do I even do in this situation? Drag myself out of bed and to the on-campus counselling I guess... (thing 3 it takes me at least three hours to wake up every day. come on.)
Not sad, mind you, there's a distinct difference. If I were still sad, at least that would explain why I had one very clearly defined and achievable goal with a tangible deadline yesterday and then did sweet diddle fuck all for eight hours.
Something is going on. What is going on?
Thing 1) This goes beyond executive function issues, it's more like executive, parliament and judicial dysfunction.
Thing 2) I am radiating some kind of 'hi I'm a complete asshole!!!' field and the fact I am surrounded by people literally half my age is exacerbating it. The social awkwardness isn't as bad as it could be (a handful of people have actually talked to me which is already better than every other uni experience in my damned life) but the times it has gone wrong, it has gone SPECTACULARLY wrong. I have my first group assignment and one member dislikes me to the point of quiet-borderline-threat accusing me of stealing their stuff which is a pretty super start.
These things are a combo for disaster. That isn't even going into the things going on that aren't suited for public posting.
What the hell do I even do in this situation? Drag myself out of bed and to the on-campus counselling I guess... (thing 3 it takes me at least three hours to wake up every day. come on.)