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Bad brain day today, which is all the more frustrating in light of how successful yesterday was. Lately the brainworms manifest as an all-encompassing cognitive dissonance that goes: 'I am not interested in anything and the things I could summon some interest for are inherently flawed anyway so there's no point being interested in anything'.
Since my good humour, hobbies, work, everyday activities and life goals all require me being interested in one thing or another, I feel pretty naff rn.
I had a bad paralysis nightmare, too, although at least that has an easy fix. It was because I hugged my old pillow in my sleep and jammed it against my windpipe. Whoops!
Despite the blargh, I did a house chore that's been pending for some time, and I'm cooking fried rice for dinner tonight and bolognaise sauce to freeze.
I have a work thing to do, and after that I may draw a little. I haven't had much success with it lately, but thinking about it won't fix that and I had better fix it if I'm going to attempt a fine arts degree this year. The last time I drew something, I was going for 'alien' and wound up 'phallic'. Seriously, it wouldn't look out of place in a Shin Megami Tensei game.
Speaking of which, my last big drawing ability jump was when I was embroiled in a crack-filled fandom in 2013. I was looking through my brain last night and not only have I not progressed at all since that time, if I had to draw or consider anything legit lewd, it'd probably still be stuck on a certain genocidal Belgian baseballer. What's up with that? Did my brain throw the emergency-stop concrete flood when I got into a real person fandom (lmao), or was it meds or something else that's calcified my brain at that point? Maybe something's stuck that could benefit me if I un-stick it. Maybe I should draw MORE penises XD Maybe I should get it all out of my system before I start drawing in an university context XDDD
At least writing about drawing more dicks has cheered me up a bit lol
Since my good humour, hobbies, work, everyday activities and life goals all require me being interested in one thing or another, I feel pretty naff rn.
I had a bad paralysis nightmare, too, although at least that has an easy fix. It was because I hugged my old pillow in my sleep and jammed it against my windpipe. Whoops!
Despite the blargh, I did a house chore that's been pending for some time, and I'm cooking fried rice for dinner tonight and bolognaise sauce to freeze.
I have a work thing to do, and after that I may draw a little. I haven't had much success with it lately, but thinking about it won't fix that and I had better fix it if I'm going to attempt a fine arts degree this year. The last time I drew something, I was going for 'alien' and wound up 'phallic'. Seriously, it wouldn't look out of place in a Shin Megami Tensei game.
Speaking of which, my last big drawing ability jump was when I was embroiled in a crack-filled fandom in 2013. I was looking through my brain last night and not only have I not progressed at all since that time, if I had to draw or consider anything legit lewd, it'd probably still be stuck on a certain genocidal Belgian baseballer. What's up with that? Did my brain throw the emergency-stop concrete flood when I got into a real person fandom (lmao), or was it meds or something else that's calcified my brain at that point? Maybe something's stuck that could benefit me if I un-stick it. Maybe I should draw MORE penises XD Maybe I should get it all out of my system before I start drawing in an university context XDDD
At least writing about drawing more dicks has cheered me up a bit lol