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gbI've sorted out the heavy tin of loose change I had into little plastic bags so I can use them for lunch money. I can't help feeling it makes me look like a bit of a nutter. It's a sad indication of... something or rather, I'm sure. (I remember flipping out at an American Express ad saying a major benefit of a credit card is being able to slip it in the back pocket of your sexy designer jeans. What if it broke!???)
I spent a lot of last night drawing. I should have spent more time drawing this evening, but I've been slacking terribly. I should just chill-out, it's not like I'm on a deadline to sort my life out (or rather, I am, but so is everyone else). I'm still pretty negative about drawing, but I think I'm getting closer to the massive problem that's been holding me back from improving for so long with it. Funnily enough it's closely related to all the other massive problems I've had...
I realised last week that for as long as I have lived, my response when a situation reached a certain difficulty level was to yell FUCK THIS SHIT and wander off, and this approach wasn't really going to work for me any more. So that's good (also means I don't have to rage-quit my job, hah!).
But I'm still really lonely. All my attempts to talk to anyone outside a circle of four or so people (half of those are online) always wind up with me feeling like the most awkward thing since the 70s. Random things I try doing to get some sort of conversation going get very little to no response, or backfires horrifically. People don't really talk to me either. I've always felt like there's no one around me. Like I'm a fly buzzing around an empty room.
I honestly have no idea how true this is, I could dismiss it all as extreme negativity but I've met some very self-absorbed people in my life (even taking into account that I'm one of them) or if it's all in my imagination, which probably is what annoys me the most.
Pshaw. *throws up hands*
I spent a lot of last night drawing. I should have spent more time drawing this evening, but I've been slacking terribly. I should just chill-out, it's not like I'm on a deadline to sort my life out (or rather, I am, but so is everyone else). I'm still pretty negative about drawing, but I think I'm getting closer to the massive problem that's been holding me back from improving for so long with it. Funnily enough it's closely related to all the other massive problems I've had...
I realised last week that for as long as I have lived, my response when a situation reached a certain difficulty level was to yell FUCK THIS SHIT and wander off, and this approach wasn't really going to work for me any more. So that's good (also means I don't have to rage-quit my job, hah!).
But I'm still really lonely. All my attempts to talk to anyone outside a circle of four or so people (half of those are online) always wind up with me feeling like the most awkward thing since the 70s. Random things I try doing to get some sort of conversation going get very little to no response, or backfires horrifically. People don't really talk to me either. I've always felt like there's no one around me. Like I'm a fly buzzing around an empty room.
I honestly have no idea how true this is, I could dismiss it all as extreme negativity but I've met some very self-absorbed people in my life (even taking into account that I'm one of them) or if it's all in my imagination, which probably is what annoys me the most.
Pshaw. *throws up hands*
