Omnivore:

The process continues to continue. Booking appointments was a very good idea. I’m grateful that even when I was feeling majorly shitty, I had the presence of mind to do that.

Due to extensions, this semester is dragging out a lot for me. I only have one exam. After that heading to family to help with chores etc..

I need to spend some time cleaning my own abode, first. Due to piles of dishes and a subsequent falling knife, I got a cut on my leg, not very serious (it barely hurts even) but enough to spook me. Would make a good propaganda style poster. ‘DIRTY KNIVES ENDS LIVES’? ‘WASH THE DISHES OR SLEEP WITH THE FISHES’? Sounds like a pizzaria run by the Family. What am I even typing

Still nothing changing to the point my brain became suddenly fascinated with fandoms I don’t even like much any more and every LP I read makes me hate games more and more but I can’t stop reading them. When not doing this, I’m so out of it, it takes me hours to get up and open a window.

Considering I no longer have a car, there’s less possibility of anything changing (before I irrevocably lose my shit) than there was when I first moved back to the city. Looking back on the previous five years and realising it was a net loss? Not a nice feeling.

I’m probably flunking one unit out of three which honestly is STILL way better than my prior attempts, but if I do flunk it, trying to exit it gracefully due to brain worms (to save my grade average) opens me up potentially to being shafted by Centrelink AGAIN and

Well

Tl;dr I’m having a badly timed breakdown. I find these posts boring to write, so I probably won’t post here again until there’s a significant change. When will that happen? Maybe tomorrow. Probably a lot later. Hopefully soon. Death is preferable to this situation.

Second art assignment got a better grade and I found a way to do paid work that doesn't take up all my brain cycles. So, starting to feel better.
Today is for French cos gee whizz!

Have the urge to make a weird livestream. It seems like there would be several streams that aren't straightforward gaming/art/programming but I've no idea how to find them? My habit of wanting to see what everyone else is doing is probably a bad one tho, I should just do it. (After studying French)

Still wretched. Drew on cardboard with cheap oil pastels and felt a little better. Drawing people with them would be fun but I generally only draw people I'm interested in or admire (cos it's so difficult ww) and considering my last fandom wound up Legit Problematic, I'm feeling nervous about bikes ATM and [REDACTED] has squelched my sense of pride and self-actualisation like a slater bug, who the fuck then? (Ben Quilty? Lmao) (actually I've binged on Art Bites videos for uni and drawing artists would be at least something to do)

I want to go to MONA and see the poop machine I relate to it strongly rn

(Posts will probably be alarming for a while. Sorry.)

I've been dealing with a stupid emotional situation for two days and had vivid, weird dreams. I feel numb. I think part of me died in the night.

Another entry in the 'JFC Georgia why are you so aggro lately and especially at gamedev did Phil Fish kick your motorbike over or something??' diary:

I got an email from the game studio I put a PS4 theme together for (which was bloody difficult btw) saying the theme is now out in Europe and Australia.

For context: It's been on the North American Sony store (for free instead of paid at first) since that crucial 'game launch' time window at the end of... ... ... April.

My response was literally 'Sony can go fuck themselves'. If this reflects badly on my reputation: GOOD.

To be fair, it's a nice theme (I didn't make the assets, I just stuck them together). If you're more inclined to give Sony any more of your time than I am, you can scope it out here.

If you ever feel sad, look up the album cover for the Kraftwerk album Ralf Und Florian. It is one of my favourite things.

(so much to do this weekend ahhhhhhh!!)

I drafted a post I'm not publishing cos it's just me venting about how much I hate video games now, again

but it reminded me I once saw a hot take from a Male Ally on Twitter that went 'shipping Jack/Gabriel is problematic because they kill people' and I need to stare at the camera like I'm in the Office for a few moments

This is the first time I've had feelings about Mandated Parent Days that weren't merely ambivalent but actively angry, and not sure how to deal with this. (Tl;dr the rest of my family encouraged me to reconnect with dad and when I did I discovered new ways in which he is an enormous and dangerous bigot who can't even excuse it on being perpetually drunk any more)

Not ringing Dad seems like a good way to make the eventual confrontation even worse. OTOH I need to spend today catching up at uni and if the conversation went completely tits-up there's my concentration shot for the rest of the day.

Besides THAT horrible little puzzle box, most of the crap in August has been resolved, and thank fuck for that.