Omnivore:

Wow, XCode is a HUGE pain in the ass! I'm so stuck on it that I'm considering finding another way to create my project's user interface. But using a cross-platform GUI library ran me into a brick wall on the project's first iteration--it didn't support non-Latin text entry properly, which is a deal breaker when people may be using this in conjunction with quintessentially Japanese computer games. So I had better persevere.

(Context: I'm using C# and my project is essentially a gamedev word processor, so you can write character dialogue/item descriptions/flavour text/etc then export it to a format the game code can use. There's programs similar to this but they're for larger-scale game dev and focus on branching narratives, which wasn't quite what I was looking for...)

It doesn't help that Xamarin.Mac's tutorials/documentation and what my installation of Xamarin actually does are different. :| I asked silly questions on the Xamarin forums before with success, so I guess I'll do that again.

Besides the constant frustrations, like this and invisible exception errors and that time my working copy reverted to a version from mid-May (still dunno what that was about), I'm enjoying this project. It feels good to work on something that could be useful to a lot of people.

I'm also getting better at distinguishing between doing things the 'proper' way to learn more/improve the project, and doing things the 'proper' way when there's no point and it would stress me out. Right now it reaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy doesn't matter if it is CLS compliant or not, for instance. :P

I am concerned my current file structure isn't good enough to support localisation (which is the one thing I've heard from the commercial gamedevs I've talked to about it that would be REALLY useful) so I might spend today reworking that, rather than bashing my head against XCode for another day running XD

I can (probably) afford to go back to university after all, but I've been so anxious and my executive functioning is so dysfunctional at the moment (e.g. it took me multiple hours to write A YOUTUBE COMMENT) that I haven't experienced any feelings of joy or relief about this. ._.

Life is rough. Good thing I have an electric blanket, a decent internet connection and a John Lee Hooker CD on repeat.

Last night, I resolved to make a minor but very significant change in how I act in my everyday life.
Today, has been really really super-duper stressful in my brain.
I choose to believe this is a coincidence and not a bizarre form of self-sabotage. Hearing about fans acting very poorly is probably not helping.

Something happened re: work that made me extremely angry. I chose not to bring it up at the time but now I'm regretting this decision. Constantly sweeping things that are actually super-bad problems under the rug, and making excuses about it being better for other people's mental health is... actually fuck, it's a recurring theme on this Dreamwidth account, innit???? Shit!! Okay, this is getting silly, I'm going to drink a lot of coffee then ring the person in question. Let's try to fix two major personality flaws in one day, why not

Struggles of a grey-asexual with massive anhedonia:
"I feel like drawing something lurid!"
*a few minutes pass*
"I haven't looked at anything resembling lurid art for at least a year, where the shit do I begin."

I doodled for a bit at least. Finally hit a milestone on current work, too. :thumbsup:

Losing your mind?? Draw a Slovakian!!

I want to ink this in a weird way, but I'll probably stuff it up so scanning the sketch likely prudent



(reference)

Yesterday was a thrill ride and not a good one. I wrote a handy script for RPG Maker VX Ace, problem is I stayed up until three am to do it, powered by sheer spite at how much time I've wasted this week stressing about things not worth stressing over.

Let's give this another shot...

RIP Murray Ball

It's late and I don't generally make these kind of posts, but this journal's title and subtitle is, in fact, a punchline from a particularly memorable Footrot Flats comic. So it seems apropos.
Next time I visit a relative who owns all the books, I'll find and scan it for the internet :D

A cyclist I like has a neat Astro Boy pastiche t-shirt for sale on his site, but it looks eerily like a fanart a Japanese fan made for him, and said artist didn't even get a shout-out on the store. >_>

The artist RTed it so presumably they're cool with it (and I know they're not hurting for cash cos they bought a f'n Pinarello bicycle lmao), but I swear, following cyclists is a rough gig. On top of the past doping convictions and incredibly seedy team owners/managers and that a few peeps need a short, quiet talk with a very patient feminist... now I have to deal with fanart theft??? It's like I never left Tumblr XDDD

AND my boy Bardet got DQed at Paris-Nice... then again, he actually apologised for it. Bardet is a good lad.

~*~* Follow this blog for more hard-hitting sports journalism *~*~

Bad brain day today, which is all the more frustrating in light of how successful yesterday was. Lately the brainworms manifest as an all-encompassing cognitive dissonance that goes: 'I am not interested in anything and the things I could summon some interest for are inherently flawed anyway so there's no point being interested in anything'.
Since my good humour, hobbies, work, everyday activities and life goals all require me being interested in one thing or another, I feel pretty naff rn.

I had a bad paralysis nightmare, too, although at least that has an easy fix. It was because I hugged my old pillow in my sleep and jammed it against my windpipe. Whoops!

Despite the blargh, I did a house chore that's been pending for some time, and I'm cooking fried rice for dinner tonight and bolognaise sauce to freeze.

I have a work thing to do, and after that I may draw a little. I haven't had much success with it lately, but thinking about it won't fix that and I had better fix it if I'm going to attempt a fine arts degree this year. The last time I drew something, I was going for 'alien' and wound up 'phallic'. Seriously, it wouldn't look out of place in a Shin Megami Tensei game.

Speaking of which, ( tmi/lewd? )